BCLiving takes you inside one of the most outrageously upmarket real estate offerings in the province

Address: 4612 Puget Drive, Vancouver 
Price: $5,288,000
MLS: R2063604
 
The skinny: Five-bedroom, five-bathroom 4,896-square-foot Vancouver house on a 7,300 square-foot-lot
 
The bling: So what does a wannabe bohemian do in this town when their greatest desire is to live the authentic life of an artist? Well, clearly, you don’t want to get too hooked on authenticity. Luckily, you haven’t wasted your life trying to make the world a better place with your thought-provoking, ideas-driven (and poorly-remunerated) art. Instead, you’ve made what really matters around these parts: money. Oh yes. Now the real you has set yourself up for life. The more interesting, suave and mysterious invented you is ready to blossom; and for that a mere mansion will not do. Oh no. You need a special house, a house built in a weird shape on a really weirdly shaped lot. One where all the ceilings are awkwardly angled, so you can bump your head in the shower every morning and remember that you could afford more comfort and space, but that you chose to spend over $5 million on this place because, well, quirks are artistic, right? You know this, because when you make your raw almond milk, bee pollen and wheat-grass smoothie in the morning, you can press your forehead against the sloping kitchen windows, stare into the side of the house next door and almost believe you’re on the Left Bank, musing up a masterpiece.
 
The hidden extras: Elevator (because you might want to live in a garret, but who wants to drag a week’s supply of coconut H2O up all those stairs), four-car garage, patios on each level.