BCLiving takes you inside one of the most outrageously upmarket real estate offerings in the province

Address: 6398 Carnarvon Street, Vancouver
Price: $6,199,000
MLS: R2032183
 
The skinny: Seven-bedroom, seven-bathroom, 7,890-square-foot Kerrisdale house on a 14,123-square-foot lot.
 
The bling: You know when you were a kid and you drew a house, but it started off too small, and so you added a room for everyone, plus a bathroom (because no one would ever share a bathroom if they got to choose, now would they?), then realized it would be cool to have a music room and a gym, and—oh my goodness—a spa! And on it went until you had this higgledy-piggledy, misshapen hodge-podge of a house with lots and lots of rectangular rooms and balconies overhung by other balconies (oops). And then you got to colour it in, one set of pastel walls at a time—powder blue, rose pink, lavender, mint green, primrose yellow—making it all so pretty. But after you’d carefully drawn in the detailed marble hallway and a very princessy sweeping staircase, the teacher said it was time to finish up, so everything else was left flat and square and, well, a bit boring. Well, here’s your chance to relive that two-dimensional art disaster by living in its 3D fully formed reality. Yes, imagine your childish architectural fantasy was rescued from the wastepaper bin of history, and now every day passersby get to see it in all its glory and exclaim: “My six-year-old could do better than that!” Well, give them some crayons and let them try, right?
 
The hidden extras: Southwest-facing garden, hot tub, double garage, close to all the posh private schools for your budding property-developers-in-training.